childhood

What to do when the parenting struggle is real

Here’s the truth.  Parenting was much easier when I was raising non-existent kids in hypothetical situations. If we’re honest, it’s happened to all of us. The daydreams about what it would be like to have our little ones someday. We saw ourselves spending countless hours playing with our kids, laughing and having fun. We pinned nursery furniture on Pinterest, picked out the cutest clothes and waited with anticipation to finally get to meet our little ones.

Some of us entered into this new phase of life with a list of things we adamantly said we weren’t going to do to our kids. We had strong feelings about what worked and didn’t work when we were kids. As adults, we were going to do it all differently, do it better than our parents did. Here’s the thing though:  these plans are so much easier when they’re hypothetical ideas confined to the structures of our minds. Fast-forward into the future, and we find ourselves with our very own real live children, smack dab in the midst of the reality of parenting and that’s when it hits us. The daily struggle is all too real.

Instead of hazily drifting from fun activity to fun activity, many moms find themselves in a constant battle of wills with their children. From cajoling them to eat, to struggling to get them to put on their shoes so you can get out the door already. For some moms, nagging, yelling and criticizing becomes a rollercoaster of habit, that as much as they try, they just can’t get off.

Parenting is hard, moms are chronically tired, they’re trying their best but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. They’re wracked with mommy guilt because they remember how they thought it would be but the reality isn’t measuring up and it just makes them feel absolutely crummy.

So what do you do when you’re feeling stuck in this frustrating space?  You’ve read the parenting books, you’ve tried the various approaches and you’re still feeling sick and tired because nothing seems to be working. I know the following approach to the daily parenting struggle will seem counter-intuitive but it’s absolutely necessary for your sanity. So what is it? What should you do? Here’s the answer…You need to simply stop.

So, what do you stop? You stop trying to do it all in your own strength. You stop trying to push yourself past your limit. You stop trying to pour out of your cup, because sweetheart…it’s empty. You choose to stop.

You choose to stop going on social media as much because looking at all of those other moms who seem to have it all together isn’t helping your mindset. Stop looking at their exotic Instagram filtered vacation photos. Or gourmet gluten-free, organic, vegan, locally sourced meals made from scratch. No more peeking at their Facebook feeds filled with photographs of them giving their children picture perfect childhoods. Stop looking, if when you do, you end up telling yourself that you’re not measuring up at all. Stop looking, if you’re comparing yourself to the seemingly social media super moms out there and as a consequence your inner critic is going berserk like a toddler who’s downed an entire bag of gummy worms. Stop looking; stop beating yourself up for not doing more or being more. Instead, once you’ve stopped, I want you to look at your precious children. Look into their eyes and see their truth. To them, you are enough.

They look at you and are so happy to have you in their lives. You are their mom. They’re rooting for you, not some stranger online. They’re on your side. Team (fill in your family’s name here)…all the way! They’re not expecting you to be like anybody else, they’ve bonded to you. You are theirs, they are yours; you’re each others person and that’s what’s relevant.

So stop; pause in this moment and welcome a feeling of gratitude and love. Let the jam flavoured hand print on the cupboard, the food that fell on the floor, the sink full of dishes, and the toys all over the place drift from your focus. Instead, stop and look into the eyes of the child you’ve held in your arms countless times and tell them three little words. These words won’t magically make everything better. You won’t wake up the next day feeling refreshed and energized and like you’ve figured it all out. What it will do is become a soothing balm for you and your little one. A reminder of what’s truly important.

Once you decide to pause; once you’re ready to stop and get grounded and centred, I want you to simply say, “I love you.” Offer that gracious gift to your child and to yourself. Keep saying it over and over, when they’re a baby, a toddler, a child, a tween, a teenager and an adult. It’s a reminder that no matter the age or stage, in spite of what you’re going through, one thing remains constant, and that is your love. Yes, parenting was much easier when we were raising non-existent kids in hypothetical situations but even with the daily challenges we face now, if we’re willing to stop long enough, we’ll be able to see how richly our lives have been blessed.

Share the love

VM 09: Simplicity Parenting, Separation and Starting Anew

Our guest on this episode of Village Mama is Karen Delano, a Certified Simplicity Parenting Family Life Coach, former play school director, and preschool teacher from the USA.

As a coach, Karen works with parents to slow down and gain clarity on what they want for their families so that they can live life based on their values without being distracted by all of the pressures from society. Whether it’s one-on-one or in group settings, Karen’s work helps parents to reduce their child’s challenging behaviors and find the connection they need in order to reduce stress and give the family more time, energy, and joy! She is also a mom to three kids ages 13, 11, and 8.

Karen is keeping it real with us in this episode about simplicity parenting, separation and starting anew. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Karen on her website: If it were simple
+ Free: Get Kids to Listen Guide
+ Facebook Page
+ Facebook Group
+ Twitter

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM 08: Parenting through Pain While Finding Purpose and Joy

Our guest on this episode of Village Mama is Alison Coombs, a Personal Trainer, Wellness Coach, Core Confidence Specialist in Pre and Postnatal Exercise Design.

Alison helps pre and postnatal women strengthen their bodies, manage their weight, and gain more energy through fitness and fun. She offers In-Home Personal Training, Wellness Coaching, Virtual Training, and Postnatal Fitness Classes.

She believes that all women should have access to safe, yet effective exercises that support their bodies through the prenatal and postnatal stages of life. She empowers her clients by providing knowledge and resources to ensure that they all have access to a wealth of information and can make informed choices regarding their bodies.

Alison lives in Toronto, Canada with her hubby and 2 busy boys. She loves going on new adventures and is a lifelong learner.

She is keeping it real with us in this episode about parenting through pain while finding purpose and joy. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Alison on her website: Alison Coombs
+ Instagram

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM 07: Motherhood, Career and The Quest for Balance

Our guest on this episode of Village Mama is Jen Ilonze, an Outsourcing Strategist and Mindset Mentor from Alberta, Canada.

As a mom of 3 girls, she realized early on in her entrepreneurial journey that she just couldn’t do it all herself. It became her personal mission to design a business that gave her the ability to have the best of both worlds. That mission soon turned into a passion to help others get out of their own way, drop the idea that they need to do it all and navigate the world of outsourcing. Jen helps her clients identify exactly what they need to outsource in their business. She provides this support so they can achieve their goals, get over the limiting beliefs that are sabotaging their journey to time freedom and discover the right framework which allows them to delegate with confidence and step away from the day-to-day details.

Jen is keeping it real with us in this episode about motherhood, career and the quest for balance. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Jen on her website: Achieve Success with Jen
+ Facebook Page
+ Facebook Group
+ Pinterest

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM 06: Adoption and Mindfully Parenting a Child with Special Needs

Our guest on this episode of Village Mama is Jessa Rodenburgh-Roberts. She credits herself as being an incredibly lucky woman to have met the love of her life when she was 21, and they’ve now been together for 19 adventurous years.

Jessa and her husband were incredibly blessed through adoption and brought home their beautiful son from Ethiopia 6 years ago. Infertility and adoption challenged, as well as solidified her faith in God more than anything. In her words, “God has been so good to me through all my struggles to become a mother, and then faithful during my struggles as a mother to a child with special needs. I need God each day to help direct my energy and spirit and help me be the mother that my child needs me to be.”

She lives with her family in Toronto, Canada and Jessa is keeping it real with us in this episode about adoption and mindfully parenting a child with special needs. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Jessa’s blog: La Belle Vie
+ Here’s her suggestions for adoption resources: Adopt for Life
+ Domestic Adoption Support Group

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive 5 star ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM 05: Relationship Building and Family Visioning

Our guest on this episode of Village Mama is Marlene Jackson-Spence. She has spent the last 19 years supporting hundreds of children and their families with various levels of behaviour challenges.

She has had the privilege of working with the 2nd largest school board, supporting the most complex students and coaching support teams on how to strategically manage difficult behaviours. Her current goal is to extend her success beyond the classroom into homes by applying her extensive knowledge in Psychology and Applied Behaviour Analysis to support parents and families.

Her passion to help families and educators has lead her to become the founder and owner of Cornerstone Family Services. Cornerstone Family Services is an organization that is committed to providing programs, services and products that empower parents and educators to nurture responsible, independent, confident and happy kids despite their limitations, diagnosis, and challenges.

Marlene lives in Brampton, Canada with her hubby Jermaine and their two energetic and playful kids. She loves chocolate, caramel corn and having fun outings like going for bike rides, picnics and ice-cream etc. with her family.

She is keeping it real with us in this episode about relationship building and family visioning. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Marlene on her website: Marlene Spence and Rewardum
Facebook Page
Instagram

 

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive 5 star ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM (04) Sophia Petrakis: Culture, Community and The Power of a Smile.

Sophia Petrakis, is the owner of a bookkeeping company, which she started 12 years ago and more recently she became a Certified Pilates Mat Instructor. She lives in Toronto, Canada with her hubby George and is the mother of 3 amazing little girls ages 8, 5, and 2. Sophia enjoys reading, learning new things and visiting Greece. She loves spending time with her family and one of her greatest pleasures is being around for all the important moments in her kids lives so far.

Sophia is keeping it real with us in this episode about culture, community and the power of a smile. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Sophia on:
+ Facebook
+ Instagram

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode. Please remember to also give the Village Mama podcast a positive rating and review.
Share the love

VM (03) Rochelle Ford-Wilson: Millennial Moms, Re-alignment and Creating an On-Purpose Life

Our guest today is Rochelle Ford-Wilson, a Life & Success Coach (or Queen Embodiment Coach as she likes to call herself) for ambitious, SOUL-DRIVEN women who feel “out-of-alignment” to their feminine essence, deepest desires and limit-less power to intentionally create success on their terms.

She helps women entrepreneurs and mompreneurs re-align to their intuition, deepest desires and feminine essence to ultimately create a joyful & intentional life and business. Through first taking them into the deep inner work of her 4 pillars of “Queen Embodiment”, (which means tapping into their internal wisdom & radiance within to start intentionally creating their life, caring for themselves as Queens and re-designing a business that is in alignment to her deepest desires, pleasure & joy) she then supports women globally to start embodying their INNER QUEEN to in ALL AREAS to create Life & Business Success, the feminine way!

She lives in Toronto, Canada with her hubby and two kids and she loves 90s RnB music, online shopping in bed and seeing millennial moms shine & #slay their dreams & desires.

Rochelle is keeping it real with us in this episode about millennial moms, re-alignment and creating an on-purpose life. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Rochelle on her website: Queen Success by Rochelle
+ Facebook Page
+ Instagram
+ YouTube

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM (02) Lenore Pearson: Postnatal Depression, Personal Development & Mindful Parenting

Our guest today is Lenore Pearson, founder of Artemis Meditation and Holistic Counselling. She is a speaker, counsellor, meditation practitioner and entrepreneur in the health and wellbeing industry and helps people develop lifelong skills that empower them to take control of their own lives and reconnect with their inner pilot light.

Lenore is passionate about experiencing the richness of what this life has to offer. Her journey over the last 15 years has involved continual study and reflection, building her life experiences both at home in Sydney Australia as well as internationally.

Her greatest passion is to help people possess healthy perceptions of themselves and find confidence in their ability to shine and ‘play big’ in life. Her sole purpose in life is to help others rediscover theirs. She is energetic, passionate and determined in her desire for her clients to awaken their light within.

When Lenore is not teaching or guiding people to their purpose, she is focusing her love and energy on her three children and husband who are an endless source of inspiration and entertainment!

Lenore is keeping it real with us in this episode about post-natal depression, personal development and mindful parenting. We’re grateful to you for sharing your story mama!

+ Check out Lenore on her website: Artemis Meditation & Holistic Counselling

Love this podcast? Subscribe over on Apple Podcasts and never miss an episode.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!
Share the love

VM (01) Char Lekx: Let’s Start a Village Mama!

In this very first episode of Village Mama, I’m keeping it real and talking about what made me start this podcast and why it took me so long to do it, even though this vision has been on my heart for years. As I’ll be asking other moms to share their stories, I thought it only fair that I open the series with my own story of my fears, hopes and vision for this initiative. In this episode, I invite you into the village to find out:

+ Why I created this podcast and community.

+ My reflections on being a mom.

+ My memories and perspective of motherhood when I was a child.

+ What I’ve learned and discovered about parenting in this day and age.

+ And my hope for the future.

CONNECT

+ Website: charlekx.com
+ Instagram: @charlekx1
+ Join the Village Mama community @ Village Mama
+ Work with me by signing up for the Parenting from YOUR best self e-course!

REVIEW

Your written reviews and positive ratings encourage me so much. Plus they help introduce the Village Mama community, and ‘keep it real’ message, to other moms far and wide. If you love the Village Mama Podcast, please leave a review over on iTunes. Even one positive sentence would be amazing!

Share the love